Right up front I want to be brutally honest. With this election
America is rolling asshole over elbow straight downhill to perdition. Sweet
Jesus, save us from our sins.
In entire Red States, like Tennessee and Utah, the old white
Republican guys line one side of the fence staring daggers at America’s future:
the young, Hispanics, African-Americans, Asians, and women of all ages.
Diversity, brother, it’s all about diversity and there’s a lesson yet to be
learned by the GOP.
The worst is we will live in a world of creeping liberalism where
marijuana is legalized, gay marriages are accepted and homos aren’t treated
like the repugnant moral scum they are, and workers have the right to unionize.
In short, we have resoundingly reelected a president (Electoral College votes,
of course) who will accelerate the nation’s decline into the black hole of
secularism. No racism is meant by that comment. Really.
The liberals will drag our country’s great name into the barnyard
stink and slime of ordinariness. America will no longer be regarded as truly
exceptional, a shining city on a hill — a place apart with a better way of life,
one to which all other peoples and nations aspire, which is the way it should
be. Now, we’ll be ordinary, plain vanilla ordinary. Just another Westernized
country with kids who can’t do math and don’t know science from shit. Oh, the sinful
shame of it all. Why, oh why has God abandoned us to the Democrats and given us
the arid desert instead of sweet dessert?
Sob, sob. Obamacare will never be repealed. We’ll weep salty
tears and have to live with the frightful prospect of covering 48 million
uninsured, with making sure people with pre-existing conditions won’t be hosed
by health insurance companies, and infants and children can stay on the WIC
Program. Catastrophes one and all for what should be a Red State nation that
believes in the power of rugged individualism and fuck the losers.
No longer will vigilant patriotism be a must — America,
right or wrong. America first. America, land of the free, home of the brave.
America, love it or leave it. And now that Romney-Ryan are history, the federal
government won’t be able to emphasize law and order to control the unruly,
lawless, free-thinking, and godless masses. But, perhaps worst of all, a
Republican President and Vice-President won’t be there to remind all of us that
chaste, spiritually minded, and religious people are vastly morally superior to
those who are not. Oh, the bitter loss.
Of course, the strong Republican women who voted for Romney
en masse, those who are the type of “feminist” who believes in what they call
the “natural order of the household,” will continue to volunteer, build wonderfully
meaningful scrapbooks, make red-white-blue quilts for their boring colonial houses, and exult
in “Godly Life” weekend getaways with female friends and their look-alike, milk-white
skinned daughters with blond hair and long flowing dresses. A guess is
Republicans never made the connections drawn by Ira Levin in Stepford Wives.
Well, at the very least we Godless progressives know that eventually
the devout Republicans will swallow their tears, choke back the rising vomit, remember
their Tea Party Christianity, and drop to their knees to pray for their
misguided fellow Americans. Who against all that is right and holy committed
the grievous sin of voting for Obama and other black-hearted Democrats like
Claire McCaskill and Elizabeth Warren. What they won’t do for certain is stop
listening to assholes like Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, and the murder of crows
hanging around Fox News. Some things take a while to change. Other things just take
longer.
