On Niggerhead and Other Colorful* Place Names

          Despite all the recent attention given the name Niggerhead and its attraction for many rural Texicans and other Southerners, the North American landscape was and to some extent still is strewn with place names that are certain to offend nearly every cultural group as well as those prudes who cringe whenever someone says shit, hell, or damn in their presence, much less even more vulgar language. One of my absolute favorite place names is Whorehouse Meadow, which unfortunately was changed by the prudes at USGS to Naughty Girl Meadow, which loses its punch and even its meaning since most of us have known more than a few naughty girls who could never be classified as whores, except by judgmental Puritans and sanctimonious prigs.

          Just for fun, I’ve compiled a short list of place names (none of which were invented by me to scandalize) that have been or will likely be changed by those politically correct folks who censor maps. Please note that I’m not in favor of using derogatory names for geographic places, but that changing them wipes out indications of who we once were. In other words, our history.

Squaw Tit                                                     Little Squaw Humper Creek

Cat House Creek                                          Hooker

Redskin Lake                                                Niggerhead Point

Dead Nigger Creek                                       Negro Wool Ridge

Coon Hollow                                                Coon Butt

Shitbritches Creek                                         Dogshit Park

Shitten Creek                                                Frog Suck

Toadsuck                                                      Cripple Creek

Intercourse                                                    Iron Nipple

Kraut Canyon                                               Dago Spring

Dago Peak                                                    Chinaman Bayou

Polack Swamp                                              Sheeny Hollow

Dildo Cove                                                   Dildo Islands

Weiner                                                          Fort Dick

Bloody Dick Creek                                      Big Bone Lick State Park

French Lick                                                   Beaver Lick

Twin Tits                                                       Mollys Nipple

Grand Teton (Big Tit in French)                     Moose Bosom                

S.O.B. Hill                                                    Crotch Lake

Outhouse Draw                                             

          My all time favorite American place name is Knob Lick, a small settlement in southern Missouri; the description hamlet would give it way too much significance. Just saying the name in mixed company is a real hoot, especially at parties where self-righteous Southern Baptist females are in full force. For everyone’s information, in southern Missouri a knob is a promontory, typically composed of resistant igneous rock. And a lick is a natural source of salt that animals visit to get sodium into their diet. Knob Lick, a totally innocent place name that never fails to titillate, unlike the far more offensive Niggerhead of Rick Perry fame.

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* Could not resist the pun.