The Most Important Word in the English Language

What’s the most important word in the English language? Well, to my simple way of thinking, shit may fit that role because of its tremendous range and versatility. Shit can function as a noun, verb, adverb, and adjective in a wide variety of challenging and interesting situations. Read on.

You can be shit faced, shit out of luck, full of shit or have shit for brains. With a little effort, you can get your shit together, find a place for your shit or decide to shit or get off the pot. You can smoke shit, buy shit, sell shit, lose shit, find shit, fall into a shit pot full money, forget that shit, don’t give a shit, and tell people who you don’t like to eat shit and die. Or if you’re super mad you can tell whatever asshole you’re going to, “Rip his head off and shit down his throat.” And that’s no shit.

Some people always know their shit while others don't know shit from shinola and can also have a shitty attitude. There are lucky shits, dumb shits, ugly shits, crazy shits, bat shits, dip shits, and just plain old shit heads. And when you’re in a hurry you tell your friends to just, “Leave that shit where it is.”

Then the animals weigh in with bullshit, cow shit, horseshit, chicken shit, dog shit, bird shit, pig shit, and people you don’t like can be lower than whale shit. And you can always ask the philosophical question, “Do wild bears shit in the woods?” You can throw shit, toss shit, hand shit, sling shit, catch shit, be in the middle of a shit storm, have a shit fit, and try to leave the room right before the shit hits the fan or be blameless when the shit comes down. You can take a shit, give a shit, get shit canned, get shit-faced, or eat shit on a shingle. You can also take another bite out of the shit sandwich of life. Your parents can get all over you like flies on shit. When you’re in trouble you’re in deep shit. You can be as happy as a pig rolling in shit. Or you can be frustrated and can’t do shit about what ever it is.

The weather can be colder than shit or hotter than shit. And when it’s cold and rainy or things aren’t going your way the day is just plain shitty. Some days everything you do turns to shit and other times you can swim in shit and come up smelling like a rose. Certain music sounds like shit (about now I’m thinking rap), people can look like shit, food can taste like shit and there are times when everyone feels like shit. When you’re sick you can have the drizzle shits or suffer from an attack of corn shit.

You can carry shit, have a mountain of shit dumped on you, be shit on by your girlfriend, be covered in shit, or find yourself up shit’s creek without a paddle. You can have too much shit, not enough shit, the right shit, bad shit, the wrong shit or experience a lot of weird shit.

When you stop to consider all the facts, shit has to be one of the basic building blocks of the English language. I really don’t know how anyone could function daily without using the word shit. Just remember, once you know your shit, nothing else matters.