The good news is we can finally stop
worrying about global warming. And, you might be tempted to ask, why would that
be? Well, because we humans are on a gigundus and enormously efficient global killing
spree that is removing species from the Earth 1,000 times faster than
historical rates of loss. It’s only the fastest rate of extinction since
dinosaurs disappeared at the end of the Cretaceous Period about 65 million
years ago. As an aside, Creationists would have us believe they were wiped out
around 6,000 years before Christ. Oh my, I desperately needed that laugh.
The sobering thought is the bad news:
by the time global warming cranks up to levels even the brain dead,
characterized by poster child Jim Inhofe, will be unable to deny, most people
will be on the road to starving to death because all the bees, birds, and
insects that pollinate plants and make much of agriculture possible will have
disappeared under the juggernaut of human progress. Yeah, let’s build more
sprawling subdivisions, assemble and drive more SUVs, bulldoze more worthless
tropical forests and wetlands, apply more herbicides and pesticides to our
fields, crank up global population growth, use more non-renewable energy resources,
and pollute every single environment we touch.
The die-hard tech evangelists typically
counter anyone weeping and wailing about environmental destruction with a
catalogue of the ways technology has lengthened the human lifespan, conquered
diseases, expanded economic opportunity, and created the worldwide communication
web, etc., etc. They see technology as a resource-liberating force, maintaining
that an Earth bombarded with plentiful solar energy and practically covered
with water can not lack the ingredients for a productive life. After all,
didn’t God give dominion of the Earth to man and tell us to be fruitful and
multiply?
Only problem with that scenario is
humans are on track to hit the terrific mark of being the only species to have
developed themselves into extinction by extirpating as much flora and fauna as
we can possibly get our hands on, an achievement of which we should be proud
because we have worked so hard to get to that point. Congrats all round for us
being too stupid to see the finger writing on the wall: mene, tekel, peres. We
have been weighed in the balance and found wanting. Period.
Which should come as a tremendous relief
for all the politicians and enviro-diplomats since they won’t have to go to
those hugely depressing international conventions on bio-diversity that have
never, in the history of the world, accomplished one single positive action on
a global scale.
As Pogo said to Porkypine in the
famous cartoon strip published on Earth Day (February 26), 1971: "We have
met the enemy and he is us." A tip of the hat to Walt Kelly for his
perspicacity and sardonic foresight.
In the words of the immortal (oops,
poor choice of words there) gospel song, “Good news, chariot's comin.' Good
news, chariot's comin.' Good news, chariot's comin' and I don't want it to
leave me behind.” The bad news is that particular chariot is being driven at
break-neck speed by none other than humans dressed as the Grim Reaper intent on
running over every single critter around.
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